Why Making Some Big Decisions In Your Life Is Good For You

I recently read that making some big decisions throughout your life is very
beneficial to you psychologically. The reason is that when you make a big decision (i.e. switching jobs or careers, moving, starting a family, etc.) you feel more empowered and in control of your life rather then not making a decision and letting fate take its course. However, as the band Rush sang: "by choosing not to decide you still have made a choice". Often people don't realize this and subsequently shy away from making big decisions, which is a decision in itself. I know that sometimes when I've been faced with a big decision and something happens to take that choice out of my hands, I feel a sense of relief.  Even if I was leaning in the opposite direction. I suppose it provides me with the excuse that I had no choice, no decision to make, therefore I'm not accountable for the outcome.

Big decisions can also be difficult for the following reasons:

• They often involve complex factors that can be difficult to evaluate.  We tend to put off a decision until we feel that we know all the facts, become really comfortable with everything, or just run out of time.
• 
  The outcomes may have important implications on your life and may impact other people's lives as well. Our decision must be perfect because the stakes are so high.
• Many people lack confidence in themselves.
• Most people don't like uncertainty and there is almost always some degree of uncertainty involved in decision making.
• Humans have something called a status quo bias, which means that we tend to prefer staying the course rather than making a change. Avoiding a decision, usually means staying the course.

The result of this is that we may feel unqualified to make big decisions or we get stuck in "analysis-paralysis" mode. Uncertainty, high-stakes outcomes, the unknown, and complexity, all combine to induce anxiety, which contributes to "analysis-paralysis" or worse. Now I'm not saying that staying the course is always the same as not making a decision. As long as you have made a conscious choice to do so, vice putting it off until something happens that takes the decision away from you. It's also fine if you consciously choose to put the decision off for a specific amount of time. Just don't put off a decision indefinitely.  The common theme is that you take control of your choices.

It's that feeling of control and empowerment that is so psychologically rewarding and beneficial.  Whenever I look back on my life there have always been moments where I've made key decisions that led me to where I am today.  As a result, I've always felt that I had some control in the direction of my life. Of course, there have been many factors in my life that were out of my control, that is normal, but why not carve a path when we have the ability to do so.

Some of the key decisions I made when I look back on my life are:

• moving from Pittsburgh to Maryland;
• every choice to switch jobs;
• purchasing my first condo;
• moving from Maryland to England;
• moving back to Maryland;
• buying a house;
• starting a company;
• starting a family;
• selling our company; and
• homeschooling our children.

There were certainly a lot of other significant decisions I had to make, many of them together with my wife, but these are the key ones that gave me a sense of empowerment over the direction my life was taking. Every one of these decisions was difficult and I had no way of knowing beforehand how each one would play out. Some of the decisions, like moving to England, moving back to Maryland, and starting a business, negatively affected myself and my wife financially (i.e. we both took pay cuts each time), but all the other reasons outweighed the financial aspects so we did it anyway and it worked out.

So, how do I overcome the difficulties listed above when making these types of decisions? First, I get comfortable with the choices by doing research, listing pros and cons, possible outcomes and any risk mitigations.  I also try to find people, whose opinion I trust, to discuss my decision with, like my wife or parents. This usually gets me fairly comfortable with my choice. I am usually still left with a number of unknowns, but I assume that I will be able to overcome anything that unexpectedly comes up. It does help to have to have a certain amount of confidence in yourself, but every time you make one of these decisions you will gain more and more confidence. Even if you make what you perceive to be a wrong decision, overcoming and fixing the situation will also give you confidence. Knowing that you can even overcome a bad decision makes it easier to choose next time.

Don't let the following common excuses mire you in indecision:

• I don't have enough information. You will almost never feel as though you have enough information. Use the 80% rule and have confidence that you will be able to overcome any unexpected issues that come up.
• Now is not a good time. On occasion this may be a valid excuse, but you will almost never find the perfect time to make that big change so, as the saying goes, there's no time like the present.
• I'm not good enough or qualified enough. Many of us often feel this way when embarking on something new, but most of us are as qualified or more qualified than the average person already doing what we are considering. Muster up as much confidence as you can and, if that's not enough, fake it till you make it.
• What if I fail? Have a plan for any foreseeable failures and have the confidence to know that you will be able to deal with any unforeseen failures. Failure is not some terrible life-shattering event. Failure is how we learn and grow as people. If you do fail, learn as much as you can from it and try again.

Next time you have the opportunity, try it out, make a big decision, see how it feels and notice the results. Not happy with your current job? Don't wait to get laid off or fired. Update your resume and see what's out there. If you get one or more job offers you can always turn them down or try to negotiate a higher salary or position change with your current employer. It's a confidence booster just to get new job offers and remember, the best time to look for a new job is when you already have a job. Want to start a new business? Considering a move to a new city? Thinking of starting a family? Don't put off these decisions indefinitely. Decide on a plan of action and go for it. The plan may be to put the decision off for one or two years and that's OK too. You'll soon feel like you have some control over your life and are not just along for the ride.